Part 2: Having participated in youth sports for over a decade I can testify, nine out of ten times it’s a great experience. I will admit, however, recreational programs are not always how they should be. You should still get your kids involved. Just also be aware of the situations that you’ll want to avoid so you can serve as a good safety net for your kids.
First, make sure that there is always some guarantee that all the kids will participate. Must play rules and team size limits are two common ways to
Just as kids learn a great lesson from working cooperatively on a team, they can also learn a horrible lesson if all the kids do not play. The kids who do not play learn that their contribution does not matter. They learn that nothing they can do will help. They learn to depend on others to do good things for them. The kids who do play learn that it’s okay for other kids to do nothing. Worse yet, they often learn to have less respect for the kids who don’t play.
Perhaps worst of all is that uneven play time tends to promote competition between teammates. This can lead to jealousy and conflict on a team. Nobody wins in a situation where some kids don’t play.
Be particularly suspicious when a team is called, “the competitive level” or “High School Prep.” Such terms are often used fallaciously. Every level is competitive; otherwise, they wouldn’t keep score. Also, good high schools handle their own prep. It would be a very sad day when high schools come to depend on a bunch of flabby old dads to prepare the kids for high school sports.
Don’t accept any excuses for unfair play time either. Some coaches will site safety concerns or other reasons why some kids shouldn’t play. Again, such ideas are fallacious. If a child’s safety is ever truly in question, then he should be removed from the team and any fee you paid should be refunded. It would be irrational to even have the child on a team where his safety is in question.
Only when all the kids play, do the children learn to work cooperatively. When all the kids play, then every child knows that he must do his best, and that his contribution really matters. With good coaching, they will also learn to help each other improve which tends to promote close personal bonds and true appreciation of one another.
Next, as a parent make sure your child’s coach makes a good role model for your child. Kids admire their coaches. It cannot be avoided. Most of us started coaching as little more than well intentioned dads. We never bargained for how much the kids ultimately admire their coaches, but they do. Although admiration is wonderful, it is also very sobering to know how my behavior is likely to be absorbed by the kids. All coaches should endeavor to be good role models — not because they asked to be role models, but simply because they are.
Concern yourself that your child may adopt his coach’s manners. Hold your child’s coach to a high standard. He should not smoke, use bad language, or treat people poorly.
Respectful coaching is also a must. Don’t let your child learn to answer to people who don’t show him respect. Be there to stick up for your kid if he is treated poorly. Just remember to discuss problems with your child’s coach in private — and with your child present.
Always be watchful of any activity that you expose your child to, but also be aware that even the best youth programs have a share of bad examples. Don’t let the bad examples make up your mind about an otherwise good program. If you have a problem and cannot resolve it with the coach, then talk to the program’s leadership, and keep your kid in sports.
Recreational sports have wonderful things to offer your children. Get to know the sports programs in your area, and be a part of your child’s youth sports experiences. Be there to look out for your kids and also to share in the fun times that youth sports have to offer. Most importantly, don’t let your child miss the opportunity to play sports as a youngster.
Lastly, avoid contact with anyone you see being chased by a dozen or more screaming kindergarteners.[Editors Note: Part I of this article about club sports appeared in the August issue of Homeschool Frederick!]
About the author: Charles “Chaz” Shrodes, is the co-founder and president of West Carroll Football. He is a veteran of US Navy, Submarine Service, Nuclear Reactor Operator and decorated with Submarine Warfare Brest Insignia.
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